Lethargy

i'm tired. i'm very tired. but i don't think it's because, i dunno, because i'm not sleeping enough...

i'm at an ebb.

i don't know how to write anymore. i just watched an episode of futurama that had more emotion in it than anything i think i could write... that's not cool...

good episode though...

i feel very disconnected these days. untethered. i need to do step work. that's part of it. but i'm also just... drifting. i lost the compass that school provided. and i'm so tempted to go back to school, just because i miss knowing what i need to be doing, even if it makes me miserable. like, i sure do hate being a nazi, but i'd hate to lose the job with the economy the way it is...

i exaggerate. but you understand, right?

i don't know what to do. i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. i can't make myself hammer out any words that i think are any good. i still need to write every day, even if its crap, but i'm just so...

bitchy...

i'm just sad. i still feel bad about quitting school. which has been delayed for the last two days due to the city being iced over... it snowed today. in texas. that's effed up. you don't have an ice-scraper handy in texas. i had to make do with an empty cd jewel case.

but i digress.

i feel shitty, and i'm not completely sure how to fix it. and i don't know how to write a story. i used to, but i don't anymore.

more stuff to work on.

somewhere along the way i forgot how to be happy. i think fixing that needs to be a number one priority.

its really dark out. i think the world is dying...