Funny Story...
so tonight, i went out to dinner. by myself, as usual, cuz i'm all cool and isolated like that, thanks for asking... and there's this guy at a nearby table. he's with two other guys. they're talking. and i'm thinking, "dude, is that R? it looks like R, and he's talking real-estate agent talk, but c'mon... R is a texan, i am in texas, and there are lots of real-estate agents, so it could be anyone."
for those of you playing the home version, R is a gay guy i met through a boring girl i met at my home group. M is sweet, but i don't enjoy her company, and am trying to lessen her presence in my life, or lessen my presence in hers. both. but she is a self-admitted bad judge of character. then she takes me to a gay and lesbian aa meeting one night along with R. R is an ex meth addict with nine days sober, living with and still fucking his ex-boyfriend, and "used to be a circuit boy, when [he] was skinnier." clearly, my cup of tea...
so i'm looking for an apartment at the time, and R offers to help, being a real estate agent and all. so we meet a few days later, he shows me some crappy apartments, tries to pressure sell me one of them, we make awkward shallow conversation and share an awkward meal, during which we talk about people of various races whom we have slept with. and after its all over (thank god) i realize that R is not someone i want in my life, does not have my interests at heart with this apartment hunting, and i will not be talking to him anymore. i ignore his calls and messages. done.
so this unknown guy, begins bitching. BITCHING! about how his entree came before his appetizer, and he's going to tell them to take it back to the kitchen and keep it warm, and bring it back when he's had his spring rolls, no, he's going to have them THROW IT AWAY and make it fresh. and of course, all the while, homie is digging in. and i'm thinking, "who the hell IS this bitch? where do these evil evil people come from?"
and then, as i sit there drinking water, one of the bitch's friends leans away, and yes, it is R, waving at me and saying "hi!"
i wave back, and smile, and say hello. R asks how i'm doing. "not bad, not bad." and we continue to ignore each other. and i watch them when i can, and ignore them when i can't, and just wonder at it all. and i eat my dinner, and pay, and spill a little ice on myself, but laugh, because i know i'm trying to enforce the difference between them and me, and playing all cool and chill, which i honestly mostly feel. i feel all right. like i get proof that i've made a good decision. i feel all right enough to laugh when i spill ice on myself. cool.
and i leave, and wave goodbye, and walk across the parking lot, noting how much quieter the whole group was after R noticed me, and thinking, "now, now is when R gets to tell the story of how much of a bitch and a wierdo i am!" and i smile. because its just so funny, us little humans and our shit.
and i smile because, drug addictions aside, i am not R. and that feels really good.
for those of you playing the home version, R is a gay guy i met through a boring girl i met at my home group. M is sweet, but i don't enjoy her company, and am trying to lessen her presence in my life, or lessen my presence in hers. both. but she is a self-admitted bad judge of character. then she takes me to a gay and lesbian aa meeting one night along with R. R is an ex meth addict with nine days sober, living with and still fucking his ex-boyfriend, and "used to be a circuit boy, when [he] was skinnier." clearly, my cup of tea...
so i'm looking for an apartment at the time, and R offers to help, being a real estate agent and all. so we meet a few days later, he shows me some crappy apartments, tries to pressure sell me one of them, we make awkward shallow conversation and share an awkward meal, during which we talk about people of various races whom we have slept with. and after its all over (thank god) i realize that R is not someone i want in my life, does not have my interests at heart with this apartment hunting, and i will not be talking to him anymore. i ignore his calls and messages. done.
so this unknown guy, begins bitching. BITCHING! about how his entree came before his appetizer, and he's going to tell them to take it back to the kitchen and keep it warm, and bring it back when he's had his spring rolls, no, he's going to have them THROW IT AWAY and make it fresh. and of course, all the while, homie is digging in. and i'm thinking, "who the hell IS this bitch? where do these evil evil people come from?"
and then, as i sit there drinking water, one of the bitch's friends leans away, and yes, it is R, waving at me and saying "hi!"
i wave back, and smile, and say hello. R asks how i'm doing. "not bad, not bad." and we continue to ignore each other. and i watch them when i can, and ignore them when i can't, and just wonder at it all. and i eat my dinner, and pay, and spill a little ice on myself, but laugh, because i know i'm trying to enforce the difference between them and me, and playing all cool and chill, which i honestly mostly feel. i feel all right. like i get proof that i've made a good decision. i feel all right enough to laugh when i spill ice on myself. cool.
and i leave, and wave goodbye, and walk across the parking lot, noting how much quieter the whole group was after R noticed me, and thinking, "now, now is when R gets to tell the story of how much of a bitch and a wierdo i am!" and i smile. because its just so funny, us little humans and our shit.
and i smile because, drug addictions aside, i am not R. and that feels really good.
posted by satchel at
11:53 PM
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